Fracture
by This Polar Noise
Summary: After months in a top-secret prison facility, Loki is finally freed when SHIELD's replacements find out the truth. When things finally start to look up, he's dragged back into the middle of another invasion. He should have known by now that happiness can never last. (Sequel to Monsters) [Established Gammafrost] {I still suck at summaries}
1. Prologue

**If you haven't already read Monsters, you should probably do that. (The first few chapters are retrospectively kinda bad; it was my first attempt writing an Avengers fic but I think I picked it up after that. They'll be fixed eventually.)**

**Warning for mentions of torture and some blood/gore later. I'll warn you on the specific chapter. The rating is mostly for that but occasional smut.**

****This super-short Prologue is a few weeks after the end of Monsters then the rest is at about the same time as Guardians of the Galaxy and a few months after. (Which actually makes it now-ish, I guess). I'm going to try and update on Wednesdays and Sundays, at least once a week dependent on college work. ****

* * *

><p>"You know, after we kicked your ass last time I didn't think I'd have to see your face down on my planet for a while." Fury said, speaking for the first time after being leant against the wall of the cell with his arms crossed for at least five minutes.<p>

"Neither did I." Loki said with a slight sigh. It was several weeks into his time in this prison, whatever and wherever it was, and he'd started to think, or maybe hope, that this confrontation would never come.

"Yet here we are." Fury's eye narrowed. "You got any good reasons why I shouldn't just muzzle you up again and send you up to Asgard with your brother?"

"I've been banished, the All-Father would only send me back here if he even let me back in the first place."

"Did you even think for a second that I'd believe that?"

He sighed again. "No, I'm far from being that stupid. It's just that I've decided to try out a concept that's fairly new to me; telling the truth."

Fury raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"What have I got to lose?"

The Director shrugged, as if sidetracked. Loki wasn't even sure if he cared that he'd captured the man who'd tried to destroy his world so recently.

"Fortunately for you, I've got worse to deal with right now than a guy we've already apprehended."

"Worse than an intergalactic fugitive who tried to destroy your world?"

"Oh, you have no idea." Fury said darkly.

Loki didn't reply. He really didn't have any idea what could possibly worse than he had been.

"Until we find out the truth, you're staying here; I don't care how long it takes."

"How do you intend to find it out?"

Fury gave a grim smile. "You already know that."

Oh gods.

Of course he knew, he'd just been trying to deny that part. The part where they tortured him, destroyed him all over again just after he'd managed to reconstruct some parts of his shattered psyche.

"Please… please don't." He stammered.

"You really think you're in any position to beg for mercy? After what you did to two of my best agents?"

"That wasn't me! I mean, it was, but…"

"Let's see how long you stick with that."

"I can't do that again." Loki whispered. "I'll be no of use to you if you destroy my mind."

Fury shrugged. "You're no use to me now."

"I could be." The demigod said. He shimmered green for a second then Fury was looking at a perfect imitation of himself.

The spy smirked but shook his head. "Nice try. You're not going anywhere."


	2. Chapter 1

**Yeah, so this chapter is set a few months after Winter Soldier.**

* * *

><p>Tony looked at the screen linked to the security camera in one of the various cells that used to belong to SHIELD. He'd been dragged here, wherever here <em>was<em>, by an old guy in a plain suit that could've made even Coulson's wardrobe look extravagant, several hours ago. The guy had declined to introduce himself despite Tony's best and most ridiculous methods of persuasion. So, someone with more secrets and things to hide than the SHIELD agents had. Tony had taken to calling him Agent K; he looked nothing like Tommy Lee Jones but the withering look he shot Tony every time he used it made it more than worth it.

Loki seemed to be sat on a threadbare mattress in one corner of the cell, legs crossed, wearing an expression of mild boredom. That was odd in itself; Tony had half expected the demigod to be dead by now but apparently Fury had thought it was a good idea to keep him alive. Maybe there was some other harmless alien technology Loki had that he wanted turn into deadly weapons.

"So I get to go in there and tell him he's free?" Tony said innocently after another few seconds.

"We already went over this, Stark." The agent said impatiently.

"And, just to clear this up," Tony continued in an equally saintly tone. "You don't want to go in there yourself because you think he'll blow your head off."

The agent's eyes narrowed and Tony knew he'd struck a nerve, which basically meant he was right. He flashed the guy a smirk, knowing that they'd probably never meet again, and wandered out of the security room towards the cell they'd locked Loki.

Seemed kind of a pointless exercise throwing him back in there when they already knew he was innocent but hey, these new Super Secret Spies didn't seem that brilliant at logical decisions, even compared to the old owners of the prison.

He turned and grinned at the camera above the cell door and felt the agent's frown about his bad luck in having to beg a favour from the world's most obnoxious superhero.

There was a buzz as the door was unlocked and Tony stepped in.

"Morning." He said, looking around the cell. It wasn't exactly the nicest place in the world to be but far from the worst. At least it was clean. "You can quit with the magic now, they're letting you out."

Tony waved a hand through the illusion which faded with a flicker of green light. The real Loki was sat on the floor on the opposite side of the room, leant against the wall with his knees folded up to his chest and arms wrapped around them. His skin was paler than usual and eyes were bloodshot. His normally impeccable hair was even messier than when Tony had found him barely conscious on a street corner the previous year. When he didn't say anything, Tony sat down next to him and started working on the improvements for his newest suit on his phone.

They were sat in silence for another few minutes before Loki spoke, just a stutter before he could find the right words and syllables. So much for the silver tongue Thor had boasted about when he got talking about all their old quests. Tony wasn't exactly surprised, god only knew what SHIELD had been doing to the poor guy in here to try and get the truth before they confiscated the mind-reading device from... Who were they again? Someone to do with HYDRA probably.

"How did you know? About the illusion, I mean."

"You've been royally mindfucked, Reindeer Games. Doubt anyone would be feeling that confident when they've had someone shuffle their thoughts like a pack of cards."

Loki nodded, sitting up slightly straighter and stretching his legs out in from of him. He was silent again for a while, seeming to be contemplating something.

"Did you say that I was being freed?" He said finally.

Tony nodded, finally looking up from his phone.

"Why would they want to do that?" The demigod spat.

"They wanted to know if you were telling the truth. Now they do."

"I wish they didn't. I wish _I_ didn't."

"You'd rather stay in here for a few hundred years?"

"Stark, that would be far less than I deserved."

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"You saw what I did when it was happening. I did not until just days ago. I have no right to even have been allowed to _live_, never mind freed."

"So none of it had anything to do with the psycho in your brain?"

Loki sighed quietly, looking away. "I practically invited him in. If I'd fought his control from the beginning..."

"You'd be dead." Tony interrupted sharply.

Loki's gave a short bark of bitter laughter. "Many innocent people would have survived if I hadn't."

"He would've found someone or something else." Tony practically growled. "You know that."

"I do." Another sigh. "But that does not prevent my regret."

Tony shrugged and stood up. "Look, you coming? The bastards are going to have this cell emptied whether you leave willingly or not."

Loki nodded and stood up shakily. "Stark?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's Bruce?"

"What?"

"If they were going to send anyone in to fetch me, why you? Why not Bruce?"

"Left after you got caught."

"Why?"

Tony just looked at him.

"Because of me." He said quietly, answering his own question, head falling to his chest.

"Not entirely your fault, Ozzy. SHIELD had a lot to do with it."

"They knew about… us?"

"Bruce told them. Actually Bruce told everyone. Couldn't think of any other ways to defend you and thought that would help. Idiot."

"He's not stupid, Stark. Whatever he did, he thought it was the right thing to do."

Tony rolled his eyes. Bruce _wasn't_ stupid but he'd been a total idiot then. You don't tell government agents that you're literally sleeping with the enemy, that was just common sense. You sure as hell don't tell anyone in any way answerable to a guy as goddamn scary as Nick Fury. In Tony's experience, and most likely in Loki's too, the 'right thing' wasn't often the smart thing.

Loki sighed slightly, knowing that Tony was right, presumably. "Where is he?"

"No idea." Tony lied. He did know, obviously. He wouldn't just leave one of his best friends to disappear off the face of the Earth without knowing where he was disappearing _to_ but he wasn't stupid either. They'd be listening to everything either of them said in here.

"Is he all right?"

"Fine, the last time I saw him."

"That's something, I suppose."

"He can look after himself, you know." Tony said, carefully not mentioning the fact that the scientist had almost been shot by SHIELD agents after breaking into Fury's office to protest Loki's imprisonment. He'd leave Bruce to explain that one.

"I'm not stupid either, Stark. He's a grown man who's faced more than anyone should have to in the past, of course he knows how to look after himself." The demigod sighed again. "Unfortunately none of that means I'm not going to worry about his welfare. If its all right with you, can we leave now?"

Tony nodded and opened the door, bright light flooding in from the corridor.

"One thing I don't understand, Stark." Loki said quietly, shoulders slouched and head down, trying to make himself as small as possible while they were still in the prison.

"Yeah?"

"Even though Bruce is… unavailable, I'm surprised SHIELD would ask _you_ of all people to let me out."

"SHIELD have split." Tony said, pointedly ignoring the insult.

"_What?_"

"Turns out it was full of Nazis and HYDRA agents." Tony noticed Loki's confused expression. "Bad guys. Really bad guys. Officially, Fury's dead but a few weeks back JARVIS caught him on camera asleep on the sofa on Romanov's floor. He won't be back unless he finds more of the bastards here and I think Natasha's got that covered." Tony smirked. It was probably a good thing for the demigod in front of him. Loki wouldn't want to see the spy any time soon if the way he flinched when Fury's name was mentioned was anything to judge by.

"You seem to be taking this awfully well."

Tony shrugged. "It's been a few months and the only SHIELD agents I actually like are either Avengers, now work for me or were dead before this shit even hit the fan."

Loki nodded silently.

This must have been what Fury had referred to all that time ago. Perhaps a mutiny could be worse than an invasion. The feeling of betrayal definitely was, he of all people knew that.

The demigod started to say something then stopped. "Months?"

"Yeah."

"How many?"

"Four, maybe?"

"I'm fairly certain they used that damn machine of their's around five months ago, perhaps a little less. They said they were going to let me out after that but I was just left in that cell to rot and remember."

"Then it wasn't SHIELD, it was either HYDRA or the military."

"I suppose that would explain why I was treated to the process more than once." He said with a slight wince.

Stark stopped walking, putting a hand on his arm. "God, Loki."

The demigod shrugged it off, not quite succeeding in hiding the pain. "Now, back to leaving?"

Stark nodded, obviously knowing he wasn't going to get anything else out of Loki, at least not until they were elsewhere.


	3. Chapter 2

Bruce stretched out on the threadbare sofa of the apartment he'd been living in for several months. It was a pretty nice place, all things considered, and Bruce knew how lucky he was to find it. It certainly wasn't the worst place his own stupidity had forced him into. If he could just get the memories of his big, high-tech and, most importantly, mosquito-less floor in the Tower out of his head, it'd be perfect.

He adjusted the cushions under his head before picking up his book from the floor next to him and opening it, too tired to do anything but stare at the first line of the same chapter he'd been trying to read for four days after another hard day working but hoping he'd finally be able to focus for more than a second.

He'd had to get away from New York after they caught Loki. He and Tony had tried to defend their actions to the others, but other than Thor who'd just seemed kind of confused about the whole thing, the Avengers trusted him even less than they had before. They'd gone from friendly to suspicious overnight, treating Bruce worse than a complete stranger despite the fact that they'd been living in the same building for most of a year. He did understand; if he hadn't been around Loki like he had, Bruce would have been suspicious too but they hadn't even given him a chance to explain what had happened. And it wasn't the same with Tony, he owned the Tower, they couldn't treat him like that if they wanted to keep living there so all the blame had been dropped on Bruce, and always behind the billionaires back.

He couldn't have stayed in that environment. Even without his problems, he wouldn't have liked to be somewhere that everyone thought it was acceptable to treat him the way they had. As it was, it had almost caused him to have several... Incidents in the weeks after Loki had been apprehended by SHIELD. The threat of 'interrogation' had been the last nail in the coffin. Tony had known Bruce couldn't take that, not without _someone_ getting hurt, so he'd persuaded him to go back to India. It had been the logical and somehow less stressful choice to move out and go back to the point of his life he'd been at before the Avengers had come into his life. Even this sort of alienation was better than that he'd received in the place he'd thought to be home.

Helping people on a smaller scale, saving lives as _himself_, that had always felt better to Bruce than what the Avengers did anyway. At least that's what he'd been trying to convince himself since he got here.

Maybe someone else put in the same position would have been more lonely than this. Maybe they would have been more heartbroken. Bruce was different. He'd been in this situation so many times; his friends abandoning him, everything he loved being ripped away. He was almost numb to it.

Almost.

There was still the last thing keeping him anchored to the pain. Loki.

He never should have run and let Loki face the others on his own. He should have helped or fought or _something_. He at least should have stopped Loki leaving the motel that morning, or gone with him to face whatever SHIELD had thrown at him.

He'd betrayed the only person he'd actually loved in years. Even if they finally listened and let Loki out, god knew he wouldn't want anything to do with a guy who'd left him to rot. And that was if he was even still alive. If his demigod had been killed by SHIELD, Bruce would never forgive himself but the longer he was here alone, the less likely it seemed that Loki had made it. Or, if he had, the less likely it was for him to want to be anywhere near Bruce any more.

After another while of staring vacantly at that same page of his book, thinking the same thoughts and having the same regrets, Bruce finally fell asleep on the sofa for the fourth night running.

* * *

><p>The Avengers Tower seemed cold now, not dissimilar to the way he'd felt when he'd first awoken to find himself in a place full of the humans he'd once assumed to be his enemies. It wasn't pleasant, to say the least, especially when he remembered the time he'd spent here with Bruce. He stared up at the dark silhouette looming above them, the same as it had been the night of his banishment.<p>

"You okay?"

"Fine." Loki lied.

"That's bullshit." Stark said. He didn't seem all that offended by the lie as he immediately continued "Saved your room for you. I almost didn't think you'd be coming back but Bruce insisted."

Well, that was one thing to be thankful for, he supposed. He wasn't sure if he could face staying in Bruce's former apartment on his own. The memories he'd made in there, as wonderful and as _real_ as every single one was, would be overpowering if he was alone.

"Thank you." He said quietly, finally looking away from the building following the genius into the lobby.

"Lighten up, Frosty." Stark rolled his eyes. "No-one died."

"No, I simply ruined Bruce's life after he'd finally rebuilt it." He spat.

"Wouldn't say ruined. He would've gone eventually."

"I doubt that."

"The only difference between a few months ago and the reason he went underground the first time was having an apartment not a cage. And those are his words not mine." Tony shrugged.

"He wasn't being used as a weapon. Not in the way General Ross wanted to use him."

The billionaire shrugged again, pressing the button for the elevator. "He was surrounded by idiots that still think he can't be trusted."

Loki tilted his head. "He said that to me the day before I left but I thought…"

"You thought his head was just messed up?"

"No, I… Yes. I was under the impression he was being paranoid," The demigod conceded. "I almost didn't believe anyone could truly distrust Bruce after having five minutes of conversation with him."

"Some people might go with that but two spies and a World War II super-soldier? No way."

"It's a bad idea for me to be here then, Stark. At least Bruce started off a hero. I never was."

"The only people here other than you and me are Pepper, Thor and Jane Foster. Everyone else is still trying to clean up SHIELD's crap."

"After five months?"

"It's a political clusterfuck, Olaf." Stark said, rolling his ryes and leaning back against the wall of the elevator the second he stepped in. "You're lucky Asgard is a dictatorship. If you'd stayed here to get sentenced, they'd still be whining at you in a courtroom."

"There are worse positions to be in." The demigod muttered darkly.

Stark nodded, suddenly looking a lot older than he had a second ago. With his outward façade, it was easy to forget that Stark had had similar experiences to Loki's own. The mask was only gone for a few seconds but Loki could still see the remains of the haunted look in Stark's eyes.

"I believe I may have had the longest few months of my life," Loki sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Is there any possibility of a drink?"

"God yes."


	4. Chapter 3

**Sorry this is a week late, my internal deadline for university applications was last week, I was at a con all weekend and I was filming for my film studies class on top of all that, so I've been kind of busy.**

**Here's the chapter, anyway, hope you like it. Goes into Dark World details and draws on the fact that Odin only went noticeably crazy during that.**

* * *

><p>Loki woke up screaming. He had done every night since SHIELD had first used their stolen mind-reading device on him. If the nightmares had been bad before, there were words in neither English, Asgardian nor any language he knew of for what they were now. Knowing it was all real, that he'd actually done such hideous things, had been slowly killing him since he'd found out.<p>

He rolled onto his back, breathing heavily and trying to calm down enough for his fists to unclench.

Somehow, it was worse now he was in the Tower with all the memories it held, both the newly discovered ones from during the time he'd been controlled and the time since he'd been banished. And being alone didn't help in the slightest.

As if someone had been reading his mind, there was a knock on the door. Loki stretched slowly and staggered to the door, movements stiff and unsteady, rubbing his eyes before opening it.

"Hello, brother."

Loki blinked, reflexively taking a step back.

Thor raised his hands in a placating gesture. "JARVIS told me to come to see you. I am not here to hurt you."

Loki nodded slowly, not relaxing at all.

"Loki, I didn't know-"

"I know. No-one did." The younger demigod said quietly. He paused for a second then sneered and added "Of course, no-one bothered to ask."

"I had no idea about Thanos. I thought if that had been the case, Banner's beating would have brought you to your senses."

"The first time I was hit hard enough to shake his control was when they were /torturing me/! And no-one tried to stop them!"

"I was not even on Asgard, I was with Jane!"

"I know that," Loki looked away, taking a breath and trying to calm down. "But I was alone, Thor. I thought they were going to kill me and they could have without ever having a second thought. For most of that time I could barely remember who I was, his hold had been so strong."

"If I'd have known-"

"You'd have what? Joined them?" Loki spat. The younger demigod hadn't realised he'd considered Thor's inaction a betrayal, nor how raw the wound still was but he knew he'd gone too far the second he met his brother's eyes again.

"I'm sorry, brother." Thor said quietly.

Loki sighed softly, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to get rid of the last lingering images of his nightmares. "That was unfair. I know you would never have joined them but… I…" he hesitated. "I need some air."

He tried to push past Thor into the hallway but his brother completely froze. He only realised what had shocked Thor when he remembered he'd slept without a shirt. The scars were just as vivid and fresh as ever, whatever magic had been placed on them still lingering even now. Even without the new ones given to him by SHIELD and whoever else, he knew it would be a shock to Thor. This would be the first time his brother had seen the full extent of the damage.

"What-"

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and sat back down on the edge of his bed. "I won't burden you with the details of my imprisonments."

Thor looked at him almost nervously, as if asking permission to sit down. Loki gave a barely perceptible nod and his brother sat next to him.

"I want to know."

"I can't tell you." He said, voice lowering even more. "I'm sorry."

"Do not apologise. I understand."

Loki looked up, surprised by his brother not pushing any further. "You don't understand and with any luck you will never have to, but I appreciate the sentiment."

Thor nodded seriously, trying to hide a look of guilt behind his otherwise blank expression.

"I was not lying about needing to go outside." Loki said quietly. Thor nodded again, more absently this time. He was thinking about something, more deeply than he usually did.

Loki stood and looked in the closet to find a shirt. Even though there weren't many other people left in the Tower, he didn't want anyone else seeing the scars. Not even Stark had seen the full extent of them, not with the addition of his new SHIELD-inflicted wounds. Not even Bruce.

He suppressed a sigh at the thought of Bruce. Loki knew he had to start looking for him as soon as possible. He needed to go back to the scientist, at least to talk…

"Loki, wait."

The frost giant blinked. He'd been so distracted by the prospect of finally seeing Bruce again he'd almost forgotten about Thor.

"Yes?"

"I should be the one saying I am sorry. I left you to the Allfather's mercy despite his recent fragility…" Thor trailed off.

"You mean since mother died." Loki said very softly.

"You knew?"

"I suspected. For most of the time I was imprisoned I was treat with relative respect thanks to her." He paused, remembering the cool cell in those first days of his punishment. It wasn't the most entertaining pursuit but it had allowed him to rebuild some of his scattered thoughts and start to put the memories back together. "All that ended after those creatures broke out."

"I would have told you, gods I almost took you with me, but Odin gave orders that anyone who tried to enter the dungeons after that was to be killed on sight."

"You almost… After everything I did?"

"You're still my brother, Loki. And no matter what I thought you did, your plans were always better than mine."

"Well, there are some advantages to not simply going in and hitting things. Goodnight, brother." He said with a smirk and finally left the room.

He'd missed the Tower itself, he realised as he walked to the elevator, trying hard not to show his pain at every movement. He hadn't realised how much he ached until he'd finally got back to a real bed.

The Avengers' communal floor was empty, thankfully. He wouldn't have known what to do if Romanov or Rogers had come back from their respective missions. The doors to the platform outside were unlocked, as usual. Who was going to break in to the Avengers Tower, especially at this height? No-one sane. Then again, he considered, anyone who wished to pick a fight with the team of heroes was probably unlikely to be particularly sensible. He should probably bring it up with JARVIS later.

It was cool outside but Loki got the impression that was because of the height of the building not the actual weather. He didn't mind, it was mercifully empty out here. He couldn't stand another word of sympathy he didn't deserve.

The wind whipped his long hair in front of his face as he stared out over the city below him. Every time he blinked he saw the images of it being torn apart by the Chitauri emblazoned on the backs of his eyelids.

/It had all be real/.

Before, he'd not known what parts had actually happened and what had been his imagination, but finding out was worse than not knowing. Most of it was true, plus hundreds of other deaths and nightmares he could barely stand to think about.

There were footsteps behind him, shaking him from the waking nightmare. It was Stark, Loki knew just from the way he walked. He didn't turn, even when he felt the mortal lean on the railing next to him and smelt the alcohol and oil on his breath and clothes.

"Does anyone ever sleep in this place?" Loki said finally.

Stark shrugged. "Doubt it."

"What do you want, Stark?" Loki sighed tiredly.

"You know when I said I didn't know where Bruce was?"

"Yes?"

"I lied."

Loki whirled round suddenly, all his self-restraint going into not throwing the billionaire from the Tower for a second time.

Stark continued without regarding his murderous expression. "They were listening in the prison. I didn't want any of those bastards finding out."

"How do you know where he is if he's been so careful to hide his location?" Loki said sceptically, hiding both his anger and the sudden wave of hope that had hit his chest.

"The gun I gave him for protection has a tracking device in it."

Loki's eyes narrowed. "How could you be so irresponsible? Someone else could use that to find him-"

"I'm a genius. They couldn't." Stark said. There was a smirk on his face but his eyes were serious. No-one on this realm could match his technology. "Anyway, you think I wouldn't keep an eye on him after I told him get away?"

"You… told him to leave?" Loki said coldly.

"He needed to get away. SHIELD tried to drag us in for interrogation. He managed to get away before they got here." Stark shrugged.

"And by interrogation…?"

"I mean what they did to you before they found the machine, yeah."

"What about you?"

"What?"

"They tried to interrogate you both. Bruce got away. What about you?"

The billionaire barely hid his reflexive grimace.

"I'm so sorry."

"I've had worse." Stark said quietly. He most likely wasn't lying, not after what Loki had heard about the billionaire's own imprisonment.

Loki nodded, staying silent. What could he say to that? Nothing could change the past, not even magic, otherwise god knew he'd have fixed his own mistakes by now.

"I'm going back inside, I've got science to do." Stark said, and Loki didn't fail to notice his sigh.

The demigod nodded absently, too focussed on the possibilities of the near future. Tomorrow was a new day, the start of his new life as an innocent citizen. Tomorrow he could go back to Bruce.


	5. Chapter 4

**First off: Merry Christmas or whatever it is you celebrate! If you're not into this time of year for whatever reason, hope you had a great few days anyway.**

**Secondly, this is so late and I'm so sorry. Give me until the New Year to get my life sorted out and hopefully I'll be able to keep up with the updates. Mostly a fluff chapter but the angst hits after a while. It'll be back to the plot next time.**

**Sorry again.**

* * *

><p>The smell that greeted Tony when he stepped out of the elevator onto the shared floor of his Tower made him wonder if he'd died in his sleep and, by some weird miracle, not ended up in the darkest circle of hell. Someone was cooking and there was no alarm, that meant it wasn't on fire. No-one here could do that. Had they miraculously been visited by the Baked Goods Fairy during the night? After aliens and demigods, Tony wasn't sure if that would even surprise him anymore.<p>

He yawned and padded towards the kitchen, wondering what the hell was going on.

It was Loki stood in there. The long sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows, exposing the scars on his forearms, and the front was covered in flour.

"What are you doing?"

"Making pancakes, I would have thought that was fairly obvious. JARVIS found me a recipe." Loki said with brittle brightness.

Oh god, was the demigod a_ morning person_? He'd known Loki was a strange sort of guy but why did it have to be this? "Yeah, I noticed. _Why_?"

"I was wondering if there was something about the kitchens here that turned people into terrible cooks or if you were all just born with the destiny to starve to death when you can't acquire your coffee and take-outs." Loki said with a smirk, pouring some of the mixture from a bowl next to Tony into the frying pan in front of him.

"Hey-"

"Be careful, if you protest too hard Thor can have your share."

Tony glanced at Thor, halfway through demolishing a stack of pancakes that would probably have been the same height as him when the thunder god started eating.

Tony, being an experienced caffeine addict already on his third coffee of the morning, generally didn't eat breakfast but god, that looked good. He turned back to Loki and raised his hands in surrender.

"Ah good, that's my brother's third plateful already, I suspect I'd run out of ingredients if I had to make _him_ any more." Loki smirked slightly but the expression seemed hollow. "Now sit. I'll bring you your food when it is done."

"You better, Maleficent."

Loki rolled his eyes mildly and turned his attention back to the stove, face expressionless, an illusion of concentration hiding the emptiness in his eyes.

He carefully put the plate down in front of Stark and looked at him expectantly as he started to eat.

"I think I'm in love." The genius said through a mouth full of pancake.

The younger demigod smiled slightly at the compliment as he finally sat down next to Tony, opposite Thor and Jane. He didn't have any food of his own. Tony assumed he must have eaten before he'd even got out of bed but he guessed he should maybe get JARVIS to keep an eye on the demigod's eating habits.

"I'm serious. This is so good I could marry it and settle down to have pancake babies."

"I doubt Miss Potts would approve."

"If she was here for this, we'd be the perfect threesome of man, woman and foodstuff."

Loki glanced at Thor. "Am I misremembering or has he always been like this?"

"Worse, normally." Jane interjected.

"Traitor, I gave you a lab!"

Loki leant back in his chair, watching them continue to bicker with every sign of amusement. He appreciated the lack of silence now, he'd been alone for long enough.

Thor shot him a confused look through the two geniuses who were now stood up to insult each other. Loki smirked and shook his head. There wasn't much chance of either of them shutting up at this point.

"Your R&D department in London would have hired me anyway, probably paid me better too!"

"Why would a medical research facility hire with an astrophysicist? Maybe they'd have taken you on as a cleaner or something-

"Mock me all you like, Stark, I'm not the one whose work is extremely derivative."

"Hey, you take that back!"

"Dr Foster?" Loki interjected quickly before she stopped grinning at the horrified expression on Stark's face.

"Yeah?

"May I borrow Stark for a moment, preferably before the two of you start to kill each other?"

"Sure. I can wait to tell him how the Russians had been using his technology for decades before Howard Stark even thought of it."

Stark looked like he was going to say something else but Loki smiled brightly and steered him away from the table.

"I am leaving to find Bruce."

"When?"

Loki shrugged. "Soon."

"I told you, I know where he is. You don't need to _find_ him."

"Then tell me where and I'll go." He insisted. "I have to see him, Stark."

He couldn't stay here much longer. He wasn't entirely convinced that there hadn't been a mistake at his release; any second now he half expected heavily armed agents to appear to take him back to the prison. And while he still more or less trusted Stark despite the lie, he knew the bonds he'd broken with his brother would take a lot more than one conversation to fix.

"Calcutta."

"I knew that already." Loki said impatiently.

"Sorry I don't have his exact location hot-wired into my brain, Reindeer Games. Not all of us have magic."

"I don't have time for your sarcasm." He snapped.

"Jesus, relax. It's not like you can get there without a plane anyway."

"I take it you have one?"

"I have everything."

"Good."

"You can go this afternoon, absolute earliest."

Loki tried to hide his disappointment. "Are you sure?"

Stark gave him a look. "Are you?"

_No_.

Gods, _no_, of course he wasn't sure. He was far from ready to try and pick up the pieces. He'd lost everything. Most of it wasn't easily repairable. His relationship with Bruce was probably the only thing he could hope to carry on with. Nothing could erase the past and stop his monstrous actions. Nothing, less than god-awful nothing could be done to bring his mother back. His heart was broken, even worse than when he'd found out he was adopted but this time he wasn't angry. He was numb, empty and devoid of feeling. The sensation would wear off eventually, he knew. That was another reason he wanted to be close to Bruce as soon as possible, he didn't want the emptiness to give in to feeling before he was with someone who trusted him, or at least had in the past. He didn't want to shatter again and have to try to fix the wounds alone. That hadn't gone so well last time.

"Yes." He lied finally. "I'm sure."


	6. Chapter 5

**Sorry about all the late updates, I kind of need to get my life sorted out still. I won't bore you with the details but it might be a while.**

* * *

><p>It was the silence that woke him up from another night asleep on the sofa; he wasn't used to it any more. It was too quiet, not even insect noises or the sounds of the cheap vehicles that normally echoed down the narrow street outside twenty four hours a day or the sounds of the cars on the main road on the other side of the building. After a few more seconds of the obscene silence, Bruce stood up as slowly as he could, trying to move without the ancient sofa making a noise.<p>

He opened the door onto the tiny balcony outside, wincing slightly as it creaked and gave him away, raising his gun in shaking hands. For the first time he was glad Tony had insisted he took the weapon with him when he'd decided to come back to India. Before it had seemed too… _tempting_ to have a gun so close to him, even after his last failed attempt, but god only knew who was after him now the whole world knew his secret.

"Is that any way to greet me, Bruce?"

The doctor span around, the gun falling from his hands as he saw who had spoken. Shock, immediately followed by a strange mixture of relief and fear. Loki was free, alive and in front of him. On the other hand Bruce wouldn't be surprised if the demigod meant to kill him. He'd have every right.

The demigod finally stepped out of the shadows, a smile lighting up his face. He seemed just as glad to see Bruce, if not more, and far from murderous.

"I thought they'd killed you." Bruce whispered, tripping backwards. This had to be some kind of dream or hallucination. It couldn't be real.

Loki stepped closer to him and rested his forehead against Bruce's but didn't speak yet, just wrapped his arms around the scientist tightly. Loki's skin was cold, even colder than Bruce remembered him being despite the heat of the night.

"They couldn't if they tried." He said finally, voice barely above a murmur.

Bruce couldn't keep it suppressed any longer in the long second of silence. He kissed Loki hard and ran a hand through his dark hair, freezing and pulling away when he felt several of the thick scars on the back of Loki's head. "They hurt you."

"The scars will fade." He sighed. "As much as they would have liked to permanently maim me, the only lasting damage is psychological."

"That's even worse." Bruce said, his voice still quiet but hard with fury. He felt Loki's hand gently close around his wrist and his pulse starting to lower again.

"I will recover," He said, a slightly weak smile forming on his face. "I'm with you."

Bruce buried his face in Loki's shoulder. "I really thought you were dead."

"I'm sorry."

"Like you could have told me anything from in there." He said bitterly.

The demigod shrugged and lifted Bruce's head gently by a hand on his cheek until the scientist was looking up at him.

"I won't leave you again."

"You didn't have a choice." He should have had a choice, Bruce should have worked harder to give him a choice. "I should be the one apologising."

"What for?"

"I left you alone. I let you hand yourself in."

Loki shook his head. "That was my choice to make, no matter how much of a mistake it was. Now, we could stand out here all night continuing to argue about who is the most guilty, and trust me, I have a lot of ammunition for this," he said, a small but suggestive smile forming at the corners of his lips. "Or we could go inside."

"Loki." Bruce said seriously, a slight edge of warning entering his tone.

"What?"

"Don't."

"Don't what?" The demigod said.

"That look. You used that when you were trying to get me to shut up."

Loki's shoulders sagged. "I underestimated your memory."

"You thought you could hide something from me. Something important." Bruce tried not to let the hurt enter his voice. Loki had no reason to still trust him, not after he'd fled. Not only that but the demigod looked… fragile. Bruce didn't know if he'd take it well.

The demigod inclined his head slightly, embarrassed maybe?

"Come inside. Please."

Loki nodded again, letting himself be led into the tiny apartment. He sat down next to Bruce on the sagging old sofa, obviously on edge. Bruce didn't miss the way his hands were shaking. The scientist didn't think he'd even been this bad when they'd first found him outside the Tower.

"What did they do to you?" Bruce said softly, resting a hand on Loki's arm.

Loki was silent for a second then moved closer to him. "I wish I could explain." He whispered. "As it is I cannot… I can't…"

The demigod shook his head, trying to banish the memories. "I'm sorry. I will at least try to explain tomorrow, I promise. Tonight, I just want it to be us."

Bruce nodded understandingly and Loki leant over to kiss him. It wasn't like the frenzied touches outside of a reunion, this was long and deep and serious.

Bruce's hands traced the old scars covering the demigod's body and explored the new ones. There was barely an inch of undamaged skin on. Bruce was surprised that humans could do this much damage to an Asgardian but tried not to let it show.

"I love you." Loki whispered softly. "And I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising." Bruce breathed as Loki pulled away slightly. The physicist ran a tanned hand across the features that seemed more delicate than they'd ever been in an attempt to reassure him with more than just words. "I love you too."

Loki smiled slightly. Nothing was resolved yet, not even close, but Bruce knew just looking at that smile that they could make it work this time. He'd been scared that Loki would resent him or even just forget him but that look made it better. For a few seconds at least, he'd try and let his anxieties fade into the background and let him enjoy the demigod's return and fell into his cool embrace like he'd wanted to every night since that last one they'd spent together.

They kissed again and Bruce could feel the lingering scars on Loki's lips with his tongue, even though they'd faded on the outside. It was too short a time before they moved apart again, this time only enough for them to move into a different position on the sofa, Bruce's head resting on Loki's chest.

"Don't take this the wrong way, I missed you so much," the doctor said quietly. "But aren't you worried that SHIELD'll be watching me. After last time-"

"SHIELD no longer exist." Loki interrupted.

"What?" Bruce stared at him, shocked.

"I'm unsure of the exact details, I was locked up at the time. I thought you would have been told."

"No." Bruce said quietly. "I haven't spoken to anyone."

Loki didn't answer right away, trying, impossibly, to get closer to him.

"The ones that took over don't know your exact location. I think the only one who does is Stark."

Bruce was silent for what felt like a long time, trying to comprehend the extent what he'd been told.

"I doubt you're in their good books even if it isn't the same people. Would you get locked up just to see me?"

"Yes, of course." Loki said immediately. "But they know of my innocence now. Hopefully I'll be left alone."

"They believed you?"

"They read my mind." He said, voice suddenly lowering. "Not even I could falsify that."

"They showed you Manhattan." Bruce grimaced and squeezed his hand. His reaction earlier made sense now. Bruce had known some people working on a device to read minds and memories. Even on willing subjects who hadn't done anything significantly bad in their lives it left a… _lasting impression_. Loki couldn't have been willing and he sure as hell wasn't innocent, even without the actions he hadn't controlled.

"Yes." Loki said, his voice suddenly lowering. His head sank and he tried to shift away from Bruce, their entwined limbs allowing him little success. "I know what I've done now."

"You didn't do that. Any of it." The scientist said quietly, following his movements and sweeping a few loose strands of hair out of Loki's face to make eye contact.

"No, I simply_ watched._ I _let him_ take over. That is far worse."

"You didn't let him in."

"I hardly fought that hard."

"I've seen the footage from the base when you first got here. Whatever they did to you... It's not like you could have fought back for long like that."

"I could have at least _tried_."

"But you didn't," Bruce smiled slightly. "And I don't know about you but I think that turned out pretty well in the end."

Loki smiled at that himself, still looking upset but slightly less now. He closed his eyes, allowing his head to fall back against the back of the sofa.

"I don't think I ever thanked you." He said quietly.

"What for?"

"For saving me."

"That was mostly Tony."

"No," The demigod said, opening one eye to look at Bruce affectionately. "It wasn't."


End file.
